Secrets of success
Everyone wants to be successful. A definition of a successful person by dictionary would be ones who have fulfilled all their purposes. Is this the only way that people are feeling successful in life? Success in the eyes of anyone gets different shapes and different shades because it is linked to personal needs. Also, they have their perceptions of success that represent a part of their personality. Adam Grant relates happiness with success and asserts that focusing on happiness will not bring happiness. James Lincoln Collier explains that if people will challenge their fears they will be successful in life. Ellen Goodman considers a workaholic person as a failure as a human being and hard work is not a path to success. Success has nothing to do with what most people imagine. It is not about their titles, their inherited blood, or the school where they have studied. It is not about the size of their house or how many cars they have. People are not successful because they are spending very productive time in their business or are doing their best on their professional aspect. Success has to do with emotions and feelings that people have when they accomplishing their goals, the perfect balance between personal life and social life, and the human soul toward others.
The first factor that makes people a real success is to love what they do for their living more than what they would love to do. It is amazing if people have goals and they are trying hard to achieve those goals but if they focus just on goals and fail to see the full picture of their life they will lead themselves to an unhappy life. Goodman asserts in Phil’s case that “He worked himself to death, finally and precisely, at 3:00 A.M Sunday morning”(454). The hard work does not necessarily bring people a successful life. Furthermore, people have to see the success as a path to accomplish their goals. During this journey, they have to value feelings and emotions because those will define their success. According to, a research by the psychologist Mihaly Ciskszentmihalyi in Grant’s article, “When people are in a flow state, they do not report being happy…but afterward, looking back, they describe flow as the optimal emotional experience”(533). The less they worry about the destination, the more they will enjoy their journey and happier will be their moments. Happiness can lead people to successes because if they love what they do, they are happy, and if they are happy, they are successful on their own. For example, people all the time in their jobs try hard to complete specific tasks to reach higher position. They put their focus on those tasks and they forgot to enjoy the process that will bring them in hoped position. At the end they will get the position and they will be disappointed because it was not as they expected to be. Are those people successful? They spent the most of the time under pressure of doing things that they do not like with the hope that after accomplishing the goal they will be happy and successful. Success is not what others say and others value to other people but how people are feeling during the time that they were accomplishing their goals. Happiness can lead people to successes but successes not always ca lead people to happiness. As a result, if people are happy and do what they love they will be successful because at the end success is how people feel about themselves.
The strategy that people create to balance their social life with their career is another factor that defines successes for people. The case study with Phil, according to Goodman’s article, was an example that hard work would not necessarily make a person successful. She announces that Phil was a hard working executive and he worked all week without free time even though the other coworkers worked just four days a week (455). Despite that, Goodman says “he worked himself to death”(454). People are not successful because they are spending very productive time in their business or doing their best on their professional side. People have to evaluate things that have real value, not just the material side and physical needs. What really matters is their family and emotional support that they need. But, some people will say that they work to support their family. People work to support their family but if they overwork they fail to find the balance between their career and their social life. At this point, they start to harm them emotionally more than supporting them with material things. If they are not at home to listen, to speak, to buttress, to spend time with their family they are not supporting them. They just are working for them to give the basic things like a machine without feelings that definitely not make them successful in life. In contrast to Goodman, Collier asserts that people can be successful if they admit anxiety as another way of challenging themselves (96). Even though he asserts that people will be successful if they will challenge the fear he creates a balance between work and life. For example, he says that “I have made parachute jumps, learned to ski at forty, flow up the Rhine in a balloon”(96). It was those experiences that made his work more exciting and made him feel happy and successful. When people seek success they have to list some priority and some necessity and then manage these two factors in the way that they will feel happy to do it. This balance is different for each person but if they find the way to combine the happiness that brings their career with their social life and family relationships these are the keys to a real success.
Being a giver more than a taker in life is another important element that defines success in people’s life. When people give from their heart, not just physical support but emotional support too, is one of the happiest things that a person can feel. As Grant expresses, if people want to live an emotional and happy life they have to direct their attention building good relationships with others and bring happiness as by-products, not to put their attention direct to happiness and emotion(534). Hence, when people behave as a giver and they help others without expecting something, successes will come to them when they are less expected. Givers are kind of people that always build good behavior and see the good side of other people. This positive action makes them find happiness and personal emotions. When people are polite with others, when they use their heart more than their mind, and when they are noble; those are elements that make the real successes for a person. Obviously, the real success for a person is the ability to hear the appreciations for their behavior. This feeling of success is an emotion that no one can experience with an accomplished goal or physical need.
To conclude, success is the balance of life to get people into what is necessary and what is important and rally matter for them. It is their welfare. Success is people desire to be more not to have more. It is their humanity spirit toward others. As Mother Teresa, a famous missioner says “We can do no great things, only small things with great love”. When people do things, even small things, with their heart and love they will be and feel successful during all their life. People cannot reach successes if they are not at peace with their self. The denomination that defines the real success is happiness. Happiness that comes from everything people do in their life. Furthermore, happiness that comes from helping others and giving from their self without expecting anything. It is the human heart that makes a person successful, not just physically but spiritually too. Eventually, small things made with love are those that make the real success a secret for others. Success is beyond what others can see and touch. It is a spiritual feeling that comes from balancing, sharing, helping and loving.
Collier, James Lincoln. “Anxiety: Challenge by Another Name.” Models of Writers, 12th ed., edited by Rosa Alfred and Eschholz, Bedford St. Martin’s Press, 2015, pp 93-96.
Goodman, Ellen. “The Company Man.” Models of Writers, 12th ed., edited by Rosa Alfred and Eschholz, Bedford St. Martin’s Press, 2015, pp 454-456.
Grant, Adam. “Does Trying to Be Happy Make Us Unhappy?” Models of Writers, 12th ed., edited by Rosa Alfred and Eschholz, Bedford St. Martin’s Press, 2015, pp 531-534.